Relationships enrich our lives when we feel safe, seen, understood by and connected to our partner. There are lots of reasons we might start to feel like we’ve lost some of that safety and security. I work with partners (and families) to rebuild the safety, love, friendship and connection that makes these relationships so special. 

Anxiety and depression can interfere with our personal happiness, our happiness with our intimate partners, and our satisfaction with our parenting. Working with our partners can help ease our symptoms and bring more joy into each family member’s life. 

Trauma can change us - sometimes in confusing ways. The effects of trauma then often impact our most important relationships. Taking a trauma-informed approach, I work with you to explore how trauma may be impacting your current relationship. 

I take a client-led approach to treating complex trauma based on the following principles of Trauma-Informed Stabilization Treatment:

• Slower is faster. Rushing treatment for trauma can have a counterproductive effect and overload our minds and bodies. It can make us feel like we need to withdraw or push away the people closest to us. Taking a slower approach gives us time to understand the effects of trauma and also gives our minds and bodies an opportunity to make room for that understanding. It’s like that military mantra, “Slow is smooth, smooth is fast”. 

• Client choice is healing. While structure and stability can be comforting, trauma often removes agency from its victims. Therefore, therapy that empowers survivors is powerful. One simple strategy for clients to regain control is for them to choose which areas of their trauma to explore, share, and discuss (or not) as well as to choose the pace of disclosure.

Sharing our inner thoughts and desires around sex, sexuality and intimacy with our partners can be really scary, and also really important in order to feel fully seen and known by our partner. I work with partners to create a therapeutic environment that is safe to be vulnerable and where partners work together to build more fulfilling and pleasurable relationships. Taking an Emotionally Focused approach, I work with clients to understand where desires are being misunderstood, miscommunicated, or maybe why they are being hidden. Together we look for the safety, security and connection in the relationship. Using that base of security, we discuss the insecurities and vulnerabilities. This helps us gain empathy and emotional and physically intimate connection. 

Sometimes communication fails us, no matter how clear we think we are. Couples who were totally in sync can start to feel baffled by their partners and misunderstood. Utilizing Emotionally Focused techniques, I work with couples to discover what is actually motivating the baffling behavior, mixed signals and communication breakdowns. This understanding leads to empathy and connection with our partners, which in turn makes communication (and life) smoother and more effective.